


bottled up emotions

by itachissharingan



Category: Naruto
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Fluff, Haruno Sakura Bashing, Hurt/Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, One Shot, Out of Character, Protective Uchiha Sasuke, SasuNaru - Freeform, SasuNaruSasu - Freeform, Soft Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Massacre, Uchiha Sasuke Needs a Hug, Uzumaki Naruto Needs a Hug, and cry, and cuddle, and that’s it, at least kinda, dont think too much about this, it’s currently 3am, kinda long, lolol sorry i dont like sakura, they talk about stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:53:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28507005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itachissharingan/pseuds/itachissharingan
Summary: sasuke and naruto have to sleep together in a tent on a mission. sasuke might have a tiny little crush on naruto. he really just wanted to see naruto’s sleeping face — he didn’t expect to trauma bond with the blond.but then again, nothing ever went as expected with naruto around.// decided to make this a little one shot book LOL. I have a lot of ideas and I just can't turn all of them into stories, so yeah. all of the one shots in this will be sasunaru though //
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 16
Kudos: 191





	bottled up emotions

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, don’t look too much into this. It doesn’t make much sense, not a lot of things are explained in this. It’s now 3AM and it took me like forever to write this, but then again, I wrote this in a fucking fever dream. LMAO. This all just started with a Tumblr post I made about Sasuke patting Naruto’s butt to put him to sleep. I swear, I just wanted to write that last part, but then my brain came up with all this other shit. 
> 
> Sasuke wasn’t even supposed to talk about the massacre, but things happened and I guess my brain wanted this to happen, so I let it. 
> 
> Yes, it’s 2021 and I still think about SNS every single day. My brain is being held captive and I’m not trying to get it free either. 
> 
> I’ll publish this right now. I didn’t read it a second time, keep the mistakes I made, please. I need sleep. I haven’t slept in two days, help me. 😀 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading and bye. <3 
> 
> Stay safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did some editing! :) I didn't change much of the actual writing, I just fixed some mistakes I made and tried to clear everything up a little bit. It's very possible that there are still mistakes though. If that's the case, then I am sorry, but you know how it is: you can never get all of them.

sasuke couldn’t really remember how they ended up like this. they were on a mission, sleeping in tents and it was just his luck that he had to sleep in a tent with naruto. he didn’t actually mind all that much, but naruto was supposed to snore and kick in his sleep and sasuke didn’t really need that. but the moment he had opened his mouth to complain, probably to say something like “why do i have to sleep in a tent with the idiot”, he saw naruto’s face.

the blond didn’t look disgusted, he wasn’t yelling out insults, he wasn’t complaining about sleeping together with the uchiha. he looked content, happy even. and who was sasuke to destroy his happiness?

the tent was quite small, but even that didn't bother sasuke as much as it probably should have. he hadn’t even told naruto to stay on his side of the tent because truthfully, sasuke didn’t really want naruto to stay on his side. sure, he didn’t want to be kicked but cuddling with the blond didn’t sound awful. maybe sasuke liked it a little _too_ much. but he didn’t care — at least not right now.

so there he was, laying side by side with the uzumaki. naruto was pressed to his right side, but sasuke didn’t have the heart to wrap an arm around him, no matter how bad he wanted to. he didn’t know if naruto was okay with it and he didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. but he also didn’t know how to ask for it, naruto probably wouldn’t understand it anyway or be disgusted and ask to change tents. that was the last thing the uchiha wanted, so he decided to just keep quiet and be happy that naruto was at least pressed against his side. he could feel his warmth, it was somewhat comforting, after having slept alone for so long.

he decided to turn around and look at the sleeping naruto for a second. he’d never seen naruto sleep, he was excited to see his peaceful face. because despite the fact that naruto was always brightly smiling, the uchiha had never actually seen him _peaceful_. 

but sasuke wasn’t met with naruto’s sleeping face. instead, he was met with two big blue eyes staring right back at him.

“why aren’t you sleeping, dobe?” sasuke asked, in his usual bored voice. he was decent enough to whisper the words. sakura was probably asleep by now and he didn’t want to wake her up, for multiple reasons.

the first one being that he was happy to get alone time with the blond. sakura was always there, yelling at everything naruto did, sometimes even straight up punching him. she was always there, just to make fun of the blond for not doing something right, for not knowing something. sasuke couldn’t really say he was any better, but he hadn’t been as harsh as usual the past few days. he had realized a couple things and he knew he needed to change.

the second reason was plainly that sakura was annoying. not only for making fun of naruto when she wasn’t any better, but she was always talking to sasuke, even after he’d made it clear that he didn’t want to talk to her. she simply liked him for his looks and his skills — there was absolutely nothing personal about why she liked him. there couldn't be, since she knew absolutely nothing aboutt him.

in conclusion, the uchiha was happy that she wasn’t annoying them right now. he didn’t want to risk waking her up and she’d probably yell at naruto for keeping sasuke awake, even when the blond hadn’t done anything at all.

“could ask you the same thing!” naruto practically yelled back, which made sasuke close his eyes.

he immediately put a hand over the uzumaki’s mouth, “shhh. don’t yell in the middle of the night! you’ll wake sakura!”

naruto’s eyes looked completely different now than they had just a second ago. just a moment ago, they looked defensive, almost angry at sasuke for bringing it up. now, they were looking at the blanket, filled with ... sadness? sasuke couldn’t really tell what it was, but he didn’t like it.

he pulled his hand away from the blond’s mouth and naruto immediately answered, this time a lot quieter than before, “i- ... i’m sorry... i just- ... ah, nevermind. i’ll just go for a walk. sorry if i woke you up.”

naruto was already making his way out of his sleeping bag when sasuke’s arm shot out from under his blanket. his hand was on naruto’s arm, making the blond stop and turn his head to look at the uchiha.

“stay. tell me what you were thinking about. it was a serious question, you know? i really wanted to know why you were still up,” sasuke explained.

naruto’s eyes went wide for a couple seconds — he wasn’t used to people caring about him — but he laid back down anyway. somehow it felt good. sasuke’s dark eyes were fixed on his face, sasuke’s attention was on _him_ and it made him feel like he was floating. someone was actually listening to him, someone wanted to know what was wrong. someone wanted him to stay.

naruto was used to people yelling at him to get lost. he was used to people wanting him to leave. no one had ever asked him to stay.

“so, why are you still up?” the uchiha asked again. he had completely turned his body around now. he was laying on his right side, his arm tucked under his head as he was looking at naruto.

the blond shrugged, he was really at a loss here. he considered sasuke his friend, he really did, but he didn’t know what friends usually talked about. he didn’t know where the boundaries were, he didn’t know what he could talk about. so he chose to be honest about it.

he took a deep breath, looked up at the ceiling of the tent and answered, “i don’t really- .... uhm ... don’t really know what i can say.”

sasuke was confused. he didn’t know what he could say? as in he didn’t know what he could say because he thought sasuke would make fun of it? the uchiha took a good look at naruto’s face. the blond looked really confused, his nose was scrunched up like he was thinking really hard and his eyes were looking around the tent in what seemed to be panic. he looked really desperate, like he didn’t know how to handle this situation.

“i’m not sure i’m following,” sasuke said, his voice a lot softer than usual. it was obvious that this was a hard topic for naruto to talk about. and yeah, sasuke was an asshole, but he knew when to make fun of someone and when to keep his mouth shut. and obviously, naruto needed comfort right now.

“well, uhm ... you asked me what i was thinking about. uhm, why i couldn’t sleep, right?” naruto asked. sasuke gave him a nod in return. “and-and i- ... i think we’re friends, right? at least- at least i think you’re my friend, since ..... since you uhm, you’re not ignoring me and everything.”

it took sasuke a while to understand what naruto was saying, and he wanted to comment something about the fact that someone not ignoring you didn’t mean they were your friend, but he decided to keep quiet about it, at least for now. instead, he answered, “we’re ... friends, naruto.”

the blond’s eyes seemed to start glowing a little at that and he continued, a little more confident this time, “okay, okay. but i just don’t ... don’t know what friends talk about. i- you asked me what i was thinking about, but i just ... i don’t know if it’s appropriate to talk about with- with a friend? like, what am i allowed to say to you?”

and it was then that sasuke realized how bad the village had fucked up. and suddenly, naruto’s obnoxious behavior all made sense. the blond wasn’t loud and annoying because that was just who he was - he was loud and annoying because he didn’t know how to interact with people in the right way. he’d been ignored by everyone and _if_ people did talk to him, they were assholes. naruto simply didn’t know anything about socializing. he didn’t know the boundaries, so he didn’t know when he’d stepped over the line either. he was loud because people never listened to him, so he probably thought he’d have to be louder so people _would_ finally listen. maybe that was also the reason for the disgusting orange jumpsuit that he wore all the time. he just wanted to be seen, no matter what.

somehow, it made sasuke angry. how could they leave a child like that? did they think naruto would just be fine? that he’d be okay on his own? that he could teach himself everything he needed to know? naruto was ignored, bullied, beaten, pushed around and no one did anything to make it stop. naruto was all alone. in that moment, sasuke wanted to hurt every single villager that had ever done anything to the boy.

because sasuke remembered the uzumaki as a child. he didn’t have anything to do with him, but he saw him sometimes. mostly when he was making trouble again. naruto was a cute child — toothy grins and bright eyes. somehow, the kid was always laughing. sometimes when sasuke looked at him, naruto smiled so bright that sasuke had to look away. he didn’t understand how the village could do something like this to kid like naruto.

he decided to not let his anger show. if he did, naruto would probably think that he had done something wrong, and then he’d try to get away from sasuke again, because he was probably scared of either getting yelled at or getting punched in the face.

“listen, naruto. you see, if a person asks what you were thinking about ... or, if a person asks you what’s wrong with you, then it’s okay to talk about whatever’s bothering you,” sasuke explained.

truth to be told, sasuke wasn’t exactly an expert at this stuff either. but he was sure he could teach naruto a thing or two. he never had any friends either, but that was mostly because sasuke had always been a rude asshole, even while his family was still around. it was just who he was. he decided to have no friends, it was pushed onto naruto though. that was a clear difference. sasuke knew how to act, he’d been taught all that, he just decided to be rude. and then the thing with his brother happened and after that, it was clear that sasuke only had one goal. and for that goal, he didn’t need any friends.

maybe, just maybe, the uchiha could help naruto.

naruto took a while to respond, but when he finally did, sasuke was ready to take down whoever touched this boy, “but ... can’t people use it against me? like- like, for example, if i tell them what’s bothering me, like you said, but they- they could uhm ... make fun of me for it?”

the blond looked at sasuke with questioning eyes now. and sasuke realized that he really was trying to learn. he didn’t ask that question to imply that sasuke would use it against him — he was asking because he’d experienced it before, and he honestly just wanted to know why.

“who did that you? who asked you what was wrong and then made fun of you for it, naruto?” sasuke mumbled under his breath.

but the uzuamki just shrugged, like it was okay to do something like that and answered, “i don’t really remember. a lot of people did that though, you know? but i mean, they were right. i was just being a crybaby.”

sasuke wanted to yell at him, but he tried to remain calm. yelling would do no good. it’d wake sakura, she’d blame naruto and then all hell would break loose. and plus, if he yelled at naruto now, he’d loose all the trust he had gained.

“no. never- never say that again, okay? if those people made fun of you for something that was actually bothering you, that was actually making you feel bad, or that actually made you cry, then you weren’t being a crybaby. it’s okay to feel those things. it’s okay to cry about things that hurt you,” sasuke answered, looking straight into naruto’s blue eyes to get the point across that he was serious and that he meant what he said.

“boys don’t cry,” was what naruto chose to say. after a moment, he explained further though. “that’s what the boys that beat me up always told me. the older people mostly told me that shinobi didn’t cry, but it’s basically the same thing. and i think they’re right. it’s just that- i’m weak, sasuke. i know that. people think i don’t, people think that i believe i’m the strongest ninja there is, that i’m capable of everything. i don’t think that. i know i’m weak. when i was five, i was beaten up almost every day. i couldn’t even do anything to defend myself. i just let it happen. no one cared either way. i didn’t have a worried mother to come home to, or a father that would scold me for not fighting back. no one cared. they all just let it happened. i could do nothing but cry. i was always crying. it’s funny, right? i yell about becoming hokage, when i can’t even- i can’t- how could i ever become hokage if i can’t even help myself? it’s hilarious, isn’t it?”

sasuke stares at the boy in front of him for a while. it’s like naruto’s words hit him full speed. it felt like he’d been run over by a train. sasuke always thought naruto was a loud-mouthed, good for nothing crybaby. but he wasn’t. naruto went through so much, but he was there, he was smiling. he was asking everyone else ‘how are you?’, while fighting a war inside himself every single day. the poor boy didn’t even know who his parents were, no one ever told him. he really was all alone in this world. hearing naruto say that he thought he was weak hurt sasuke more than he’d like to admit. it made the uchiha want to cry, because god, what did this boy do to deserve all of that?

“i’m sorry, naruto,” was all sasuke could say.

apparently, that was the wrong thing to say, because naruto just snorted and turned away, “i don’t need pity.”

he’d done it now — naruto was going to shut him out again. he needed naruto to talk about this stuff, because, as much as sasuke didn’t want to admit it, the idiot was his best friend.

“i’m not saying it to pity you, believe me. i know that the last thing you need and want is pity. i’m saying it because i really am sorry. what i’ve done to you, and what the village did to you was wrong in so many ways that i can’t even begin to comprehend. because, naruto, you didn’t deserve any of that. you didn’t do anything wrong. and i’m sorry i wasn’t there to help you.”

that made the blond look at him again, “but you did help me.”

“i just made fun of you,” sasuke answered.

but naruto shook his head, “maybe. but you- you didn’t ignore me, sasuke. you just don’t know how much that meant to me. how much it still means to me. most kids wouldn’t even look at me. their parents would tell them not to play with me, because i was dangerous and because they didn’t know what i’d do. but you- you never ignored me. it didn’t matter that you made fun of me.”

the uchiha wanted to shake naruto, to tell him that it should matter. that he should hate him with his guts, that he should spit in his face right now, and leave him in this tent all alone. sasuke wanted to yell that he didn’t deserve what naruto was giving him. that he should be making sasuke beg on his knees for forgiveness.

but sasuke remembered that naruto had said something similar before. back then, sasuke was walking around the village late at night and he saw naruto sitting on a roof. the uchiha couldn’t remember why he’d joined the blond, but he did. and they talked. naruto told him that sasuke had this look in his eyes. he’d told him that he looks at him the same way everyone looks at naruto, but that the look wasn’t directed at him.

sasuke laughed again, “i didn’t have parents that could’ve told me to stay away from you.”

naruto didn’t laugh, but his blue eyes found sasuke’s once again.

“what’s it like?” the blond asked.

sasuke tried to understand what naruto was talking about now. what was what like? not to be ignored? to be liked by people? eventually, he gave up and asked, “what do you mean?”

“what’s it like to have parents? or, to have a family?”

and boom, sasuke wanted to cry again. naruto was the same age as him — he should know what it felt like to come home to a cooked meal on the table. he should know what it felt like to come home to an annoying older brother or sister. he should know what it felt like to run around in the yard, playing hide and seek with someone. naruto should know what it felt like to be hugged by your mother ...

the uchiha’s breath hitched. did naruto- had naruto ever been- .... surely, there had to be someone that- but there wasn’t. as far as sasuke knew, no one had taken care of naruto ever. he knew that the hokage visited him a couple times when the blond was younger, but he knew that they weren’t that close after all. did that mean ... !?

sasuke didn’t want to think about it anymore, so he answered naruto’s question.

“it’s ... hm ... warm,” he said. “my mother used to cook meals for us everyday. i’d come home, and there’d be food on the table, no matter what. she’d help me with my homework. my father- my father taught me a lot. like the uchiha’s fireball jutsu. but i mostly- mostly trained with ... uhm, my brother. he showed me how to throw shurikens and kunais. one time, we were training in the woods and i hurt my ankle. he carried me on his back all the way home. he would uhm ... tell me goodnight stories when i couldn’t sleep. he always checked for monsters under my bed too.”

it hurt to talk about the good times with itachi. sasuke had to blink the tears away a couple of times, but what kind of best friend was he if he couldn’t even describe what a family was like to naruto? it was a simple, pure request and he couldn’t turn him down. not when naruto was looking so lost and vulnerable. it was weird to see the loud uzumaki so quiet and ... sad. sasuke would do anything to make him smile.

there were tears in naruto’s eyes and for a moment, sasuke thought he’d said something wrong. he didn’t want to see naruto cry. and he didn’t want to be the one that made him cry. but the uzumaki was smiling. it wasn’t his usual grin, it was bitter and sad. it didn’t belong on that sunshine face. it didn’t look right.

“it sounds nice. i don’t know what happened to your family, but ... but they sound like nice people, like good people. i- i don’t know if it’s okay to ask that, but maybe ... uhm, could you tell me another story about your family?” naruto asked.

the uchiha wanted to push him away, tell him to get out and not come back. but he couldn’t. naruto didn’t know, and it wasn’t the blond’s fault that he didn’t. it hurt sasuke to talk about it. god knows it did, but he couldn’t say no, couldn’t push his best friend away. not now, not when they were ... having a moment, or whatever you’d like to call it. it felt like they were getting closer, and no matter how hard sasuke tried to fight it, it felt good. it felt good to talk about his family, about his brother. the uchiha wasn’t ready to accept the fact that he didn’t hate itachi just yet, but talking about him felt good, in a way. it hurt like hell, but he liked remembering the happy moments. liked remembering his mom and dad. maybe he could even tell naruto about that night, one day.

sasuke nodded, “it’s okay to ask that. hm, okay, so ... one time, itachi and me were playing hide and seek in the woods. it was my favorite game to play when i was little, especially with my brother, because i always won. now thinking about it, he probably let me win. but back then, i thought i was the strongest ninja on the planet when he didn’t find me. i loved to win, even back then. and every time he’d find me, i’d just say he cheated and told him to start counting again. he never had much time to play with me, because he became an ANBU member very early, but when he did have time, he’d always play with me. dad would always get mad when i kept itachi from training, so we started training together.”

the uchiha took his hand out of his sleeping bag and lightly tapped naruto’s forehead with two fingers. the blond didn’t react, only stared at him, so sasuke explained, “itachi always did this to me. everytime i’d ask him if he could play with me, or show me a new throwing technique, he’d poke my forehead and tell me ‘maybe next time’.”

“he sounds like a good older brother,” naruto mumbled and sasuke faltered.

itachi had been a good brother, until he ... sasuke didn’t understand. he couldn’t connect his itachi with the one he saw that night. it didn’t make sense. that wasn’t his big brother. itachi was quiet, kind. not the monster he saw that night. not the one that told him to get revenge, not that thing that made his mother choke on her own blood.

the uchiha closed his eyes for a second, composed himself and slightly nodded, “he was.”

“did he- did he die too .... ?” naruto asked. his voice was careful, eyes already filled with tears even without having an answer.

sasuke looked at the blond for a second. he wanted to say yes, wanted to tell him that his brother did die that night, because that’s what it felt like, but he didn’t want to lie. if he wanted to do this friends thing with naruto, they had to be honest with each other.

so he shook his head, “no. no, he didn’t die.”

and that’s when sasuke realized that apparently, naruto really didn’t know anything. he hadn’t noticed before, too caught up in his own thoughts to realized it — but naruto had asked if itachi was dead. that could only mean that the uzumaki didn’t know that itachi killed the uchiha clan. but how did he not ... ? everyone talked about it, all the kids at school. sasuke remembered the whispers, how they would stop the moment he walked into the room, the way people would watch him with pity in their eyes. how did naruto not hear about all of it?

“so ... is what the other kids said true?” naruto asked and ah, there it was. so the blond had heard, after all.

but then why wasn’t he disgusted? why didn’t he look at sasuke with pity in his eyes? why did he say itachi sounded like a good person, if naruto knew all along?

sasuke closed his eyes, but said, “yes.”

he expected naruto to say that he was sorry, that he understood. that’s what they all did, after all. the problem was that they didn’t understand. naruto wouldn’t understand either, because he didn’t know what it was like to have a family. he didn’t know what it felt like to have all of that ripped away. sasuke knew that these thoughts were hurtful, he would never say them out loud. he knew that naruto suffered as much as he did, probably even more. but if the blond said he understood, sasuke would tell him to leave right away. because he didn’t!

but then again, naruto never did what you expected him to do. he didn’t say that he was sorry, or that he understood. he put a hand on sasuke’s shoulder and asked, “do you want to talk about it?”

and the uchiha wanted to tell him to get lost, to fuck off. but everything inside of him screamed at him to say yes, to talk. god, he really wanted to talk about it. he wanted to let it out, because this was naruto, his best friend, the person he trusted the most, as much as he hated to admit. but could he do it? could he ... right now? would he be able to without ... breaking down completely? and what would happen if he did?

sasuke wanted to cry, because he was supposed to be comforting naruto right now. but instead, as always, the blond was offering help again. when in reality, he was the one who needed help. and the uchiha knew that, he knew. he knew that he should be asking naruto that question, that his hand should be on the blond’s shoulder, not the other way around. but he so desperately needed someone to talk to. and after all, maybe naruto would open up after sasuke did? maybe they could share something? something personal, something no one else knew.

he hadn’t allowed himself to cry after that night. he didn’t talk to someone about it, even if people tried to make him. he’d tell them to fuck off, so why wasn’t he telling naruto exactly that? because he understood, to some extent. he knew what it felt like to be all alone in this world, to be lonely. naruto understood what it felt like to be so lonely you felt like you could die. naruto knew what it felt like to hear those goddamn whispers, to have all these eyes on you. it didn’t matter that different things were whispered about the both of them, that naruto got different looks than sasuke.

so the uchiha looked into the uzumaki’s eyes and nodded, “naruto, i- i can’t tell you everything. i don’t think i’m ready, i don’t think i’ll ever be. i don’t understand most of it anyway. itachi was- he was my older brother. and as much as i hate to admit, i loved him so fucking much. he was always there for me, you know? he was the person that i looked up to, the person that i wanted to be like. he was my hero. he was strong, he always protected me, no matter what. even from childish fears like monsters under my bed. he was always right there. he even- one time i cut my hand. he was there to make it better — he put a bandaid on it and kissed it better. he was the one that told me goodnight stories, that played with me. he would hug me whenever i felt bad. everyone else told me shinobi didn’t cry and that i’d be weak if i did, especially because i was an uchiha, but itachi always just hugged me and told me it was okay. and then he’d poke my forehead and tell me he’d always be there to protect me, that he’d take care of me, no matter what. and that night, i- i didn’t even care about any of it. i was walking home and they were just- fuck, they were all dead, naruto. but i didn’t care, i just- i just wanted-“

“you just wanted your brother,” naruto finished and sasuke nodded, wiping his eyes with his arm.

he didn’t know when he started crying, but it didn’t matter anymore. the moment he blurted out the next sentence, he was a sobbing mess, “i just wanted him to lift his stupid hand and poke my forehead. just wanted him to tell me it’d be okay.”

sasuke was really crying now, arm over his face and everything. he was trying his best to keep quiet, still afraid of waking sakura, or worse, kakashi hearing him and checking in to see if they were okay. he really didn’t want kakashi to see him like this. he couldn’t lose his face in front of them too.

naruto was quiet for a while, just letting the uchiha cry. the truth was, he didn’t really know what to do at all, since no one had ever been there to comfort him. he decided to say something, after all, “i don’t- i can’t say i understand, because i don’t. i couldn’t. i never knew what it’s like to have a family, so i can’t understand how bad this has to hurt, sasuke. and-and i’m not that good with people, or emotions ... but uhm, i-i understand that you’re probably confused, right? i mean it’s- he was your brother. and from what you’ve just told me i think he- i think he really did love you. and you loved him too, so i-i understand that you don’t understand. but i don’t know how to help you. to be honest, i don’t think i can, really. but i can tell you that .... that you’re not alone. even-even if you feel like you are. you have me. always. i know people have probably told you that it gets better, but i won’t tell you that. because i’m not sure if- if it does. but you’re not alone. and if you ever ... need someone to talk to, about anything, just find me, okay? i’ll- i know it doesn’t seem like it but- i can- i can only listen. i don’t have to say anything. just .. find me.”

sasuke had stopped crying by now. he was just staring at naruto with awe, because who the hell was this boy? the uchiha knew that the blond had to be hurting too. it had to hurt to watch someone talk about their family when you’ve never had one. he knew that naruto probably wanted to cry too, but he was there. he was being strong for someone else, again. when the whole reason for all of this was that sasuke wanted naruto to open up to him. he wasn’t expecting to tell naruto anything, at least not tonight.

“thank you, naruto. really. i guess it ... it felt kind of good. crying and all,” sasuke admitted, still looking at the boy in front of him.

and then sasuke realized that naruto hadn’t moved from his spot. he hadn’t tried to hug sasuke. most of the people would have done that by now. why didn’t he ... and then sasuke remembered what he thought about earlier, and he felt like crying all over again. was he right? had naruto never been ... hugged? ever? had the blond just comforted sasuke without even knowing what that was? without ever being comforted himself?

sasuke didn’t know if he wanted to know, but he asked anyway, “naruto ... have you ever been ... hugged?”

the uzumaki looked at this friend for a second, confused by the change of topic. but he answered despite being confused, “i don’t- no, i don’t think so. i can’t remember ever being ... close to someone.”

sasuke didn’t know why — maybe he was just as touch starved as the blond — but he opened his arms. naruto just stared at him, confusion written all over his face. what did sasuke want him to do? was he supposed to come closer? to get further away?

“come here. i’m gonna hug you,” sasuke mumbled.

naruto still didn’t really know what to do, but he moved closer anyway. sasuke was his friend, he trusted him. once close enough, the blond felt sasuke’s arms wrap around him. it was a weird hug, sasuke laying on his right side, one arm pressed under naruto’s body. but it was a hug.

naruto didn’t know what to do with his arms, so they were just pressed between their bodies, until sasuke said, “you can put your arms around me too, if you want. just ... put them wherever you’re comfortable with.”

so the blond pulled his arm out, noticing that he could only put one if them around the uchiha, because he’d have to make sasuke sit up if he wanted to put both of them around him, and placed it on sasuke’s upper back. it was really uncomfortable for the both of them, so after a couple of seconds, sasuke pulled away, not to stop hugging naruto, but to switch positions, so it’d be more comfortable. he should’ve known that the blond would take this as a stop sign, because the moment he’d taken his arms away, naruto stared for a second, before quickly turning away from the uchiha.

what? had he done something wrong? did naruto not like it? did he overstep the line? was it too much for the uzumaki?

sasuke knew that naruto wasn’t used to being this close to someone, but was it this hard for him? because the uchiha was sure that it shouldn’t be. after all these years without even as much as a hug, naruto was supposed o be melting in his arms, right? because sasuke knew that he’d loved every second of it, even if it was uncomfortable and awkward. he never thought he’d needed physical contact this much, until he felt the weight of naruto safely pressing against him. it was nothing sexual or weird, just pure and soft.

“naruto? did i do something wrong?” sasuke asked, voice soft.

and then he noticed it — noticed naruto’s shaking shoulders. was he crying? fuck, what had he done? why was naruto crying?

“hey. come on, look at me. tell me what’s wrong. tell me what i did so i can say sorry and make it better, naruto. you have to talk to me so i can help you,” he tried and apparently it worked, because naruto turned around to him.

despite what he’d thought, naruto crying wasn’t loud. the blond was surely crying, big tears running down his cheeks, his whole body shaking from the intensity of it all — but there was no sound. and it hurt sasuke, because kids didn’t just cry quietly. it was something that was learned.

the blond wiped his eyes with his arms, “you- no. you didn’t- i thought- i just- ugh.” he sniffled a couple of times, before continuing. “all those years, i just- i saw kids hugging their parents when they picked them up from the playground. and i- i just wanted- just wanted someone to do that. to hug me. just- just wanted someone to be there when i come home. i- sasuke, it hurts so bad. sometimes i think i have to die, because it just hurts and i- i don’t know how to make it stop. god, i just wanted someone to hold me. to tell me that i’ll be okay. it hurts.”

“fuck. come here,” sasuke motioned for naruto to get closer again.

but this time, sasuke laid his left arm out. naruto moved closer and sasuke pressed naruto’s body against his, only with his left arm this time. he gently placed his hand on naruto’s waist, while using his other arm to push the blond’s head on his chest. he had better access to naruto’s body now — he could easily play with his hair, stroke his back or even hold his hand — and that was a good thing. naruto had never been hugged, had never been comforted and sasuke wanted nothing more than to provide all the comfort in the world for the broken boy in his arms.

“you’re gonna be okay, naruto. it’s okay. i promise we’ll both be fine some day. you’ll be okay,” the uchiha mumbled.

naruto cried even more, even though sasuke didn’t think that was possible. but he thought that it wasn’t a bad kind of crying anymore. sure, the blond was incredibly sad and broken and hurt, but maybe sasuke could hold him together. and maybe naruto could do the same for him. because the uchiha hadn’t felt this human in years.

after a while of naruto just silently crying, while sasuke ran his middle finger up and down the blond’s spine, the uzumaki finally calmed down a bit. sasuke thought that maybe he’d move away now, but he stayed where he was. maybe naruto liked this just as much as sasuke did?

“sasuke, can i- can i tell you something?”

“hn,” was the only response he got. honestly, sasuke was too focused on rubbing naruto’s back to really listen.

the blond paused for a moment, sniffled once more and then said, “it’s about sakura.”

that made sasuke stop rubbing the uzumaki’s back. he looked down at the mess of hair laying on his chest, sakura, he noted. no sakura-chan. did something happen that he wasn’t aware of? he knew sakura wasn’t the nicest person in the world when it came to naruto, but what could she have possibly done to?

“what did she do?” sasuke asked, genuinely confused and curious.

“do you remember when .. practiced chakra control and climbed up the trees? we stayed out pretty late, remember?”

“yeah,” sasuke answered.

naruto paused again and then said, “hm. and you had to basically carry me home, because i was too exhausted to stand on my own?”

“i remember that night, naruto. very well. why?”

“sakura came to me, afterwards. i don’t know where you were at that time, probably taking a shower. but i was getting ready for bed, when she came into my room. at first i was excited and all that, because she didn’t really talk to me that much, unless she was insulting me. i thought maybe she wanted to talk, or whatever. but she actually got mad at me. she said that i was spending too much time with you, and that i should stay away from you because otherwise you’d end up becoming as stupid as me. she said that i was good for nothing and a monster, that my parents probably left me because they couldn’t- couldn’t stand being with someone like me. do you- do you think that’s true?” naruto asked, voice small and broken and scared.

and oh god, sakura was going to get it tomorrow. sasuke had rejected her often, he’d called her annoying often. but tomorrow would not be fun for the pink haired girl, sasuke promised himself that. he’d make her eat her own fucking words, because who the hell was she to tell naruto that? sakura had no clue who naruto was, didn’t know what he was capable of, didn’t know what it felt like to not have parents. and she had to nerve to tell naruto that? wihtout as much as thinking about how bad it would hurt naruto. the poor kid toom everything to heart that was said, every little thing. and there he was, asking sasuke if something stupid and selfish sakura had said could be true. and it wasn’t like the pink haired didn’t know what kind of person naruto is — she knew it exactly, and she still went and did this. sasuke would make her take it all back. she’d be begging for naruto’s forgiveness by tomorrow night, and she wouldn’t get it, sasuke would make sure of that. because she didn’t deserve forgiveness. not when she was a selfish bitch.

“no. that’s not the truth, naruto. never think like that. you’re not a monster, no matter what anyone says. your parents didn’t leave because of you, never. i’m sure that, whoever your parents were, loved you so, so much, naruto. you have to believe me on this. or you can ask kakashi-sensei, or iruka-sensei. they’ll tell you the exact same thing, i promise,” sasuke softly whispered, going back to stroking the blond’s back.

naruto seemed to think about what the uchiha said for a second, before he lifted his head and looked at his friend. and there was that look again. he looked lost and hurt and for some reason scared, and sasuke wanted to hold him even closer, “but then why did she say that?”

“she’s jealous of you.”

“why would she be jealous of me?” naruto asked, and it seemed like he genuinely couldn’t think about a single reason why someone would ever be jealous of him.

sasuke thought about what to say for a while. in the mean time, naruto had put his head back on sasuke’s shoulder. the other boy continued stroking his back, before he finally answered, “she wanted to be the one that i carried home, naruto. i don’t think she really has anything against you except the fact that you get to be close to me, that you get to be my friend. people are weird sometimes, don’t think about it too much, okay? just ... hm, think about this instead. me and you. right now, there’s nothing here that can hurt you. i promise you, naruto, as long as i’m around, nothing bad is going to happen to you anymore. i don’t care what that means, i don’t care if you have to move in with me so that i can protect you. everytime, and i mean, every single time, you feel bad or just want to be hugged, or be close to someone, come to me. i promise i’ll be there.”

“i think i’d like that,” naruto mumbled, sounding a lot more sleepy than before.

sasuke smiled, “what?”

“moving in with you.”

sasuke paused for a moment. he didn’t think naruto would take it seriously, but he did. and truthfully, the uchiha didn’t hate the idea either. he liked it. not being alone anymore sounded nice. he didn’t know how he’d survive without naruto being this close to him anymore anyway, not after knowing what it felt like to have someone cuddle up next to you.

so he nodded, “okay. we’ll talk about it when we get back to konoha then.”

naruto nodded and yawned. sasuke had to physically hold himself back from giggling, because that was the cutest thing he’d ever seen. or so he thought, but only a second after that, the uzumaki lifted his hand which he’d put on sasuke’s chest before, and rubbed his eyes with his fists. fuck, that was the cutest thing the uchiha had ever seen.

he smiled a soft smile, “you tired?”

“hm. can’t sleep though,” naruto mumbled and sasuke’s eyebrows scrunched together.

naruto couldn’t sleep? did he always have trouble sleeping? sasuke didn’t know, but he didn’t know if he should ask either. maybe it’d make the blond cry again. they really needed sleep though, so sasuke tried to think about something to make him sleep. he definitely wasn’t going to tell naruto a goodnight story (okay, maybe he would. but only if naruto specifically asked for it.) and he definitely wasn’t singing him to sleep. so what could he do?

and then he remembered something his mother and itachi would always do if he couldn’t sleep. he was very young back then though, but considering that no one had probably ever done this to naruto, maybe it would work. if he was being honest, itachi had done it until right before the massacre, and sasuke was too old for that back then as well. it was always comforting though.

without thinking too much about, he placed his hand on naruto’s butt. it made the blond jump a little.

“what are you doing?” naruto asked.

“i’m ... trying something. itachi and my mother used to do this when i couldn’t sleep. tell me if you don’t like it and i’ll stop. it always helped me though,” sasuke explained carefully, waiting for naruto’s reaction.

the uchiha was young, but not stupid. he knew people usually didn’t just touch other people’s butts, maybe he was overstepping many lines at once, but the intent was pure and childish. he just wanted to put naruto to sleep, and this was the only way he could come up with, without completely embarrassing himself. he wasn’t a good story teller, and he sure as hell wasn’t a good singer.

“okay, s’ke,” the blond mumbled, cuddling even closer to sasuke.

the boy smiled again and softly began patting naruto’s bottom in what he hoped to be a comforting rhythm. he was just testing it out, seeing if naruto would tell him to stop right away, but the blond didn’t. after a while, he heard naruto give a content sigh, before he spoke up again, clearly almost asleep by now, “‘s comf’ting, s’ke. like it. thank you.”

another smile crawled onto the uchiha’s lips. and he might or might not have pressed a soft kiss to naruto’s head, before he fell asleep himself.


End file.
